There I was in a brand new year of 2011 and I still found myself down and blue over not moving forward with the IVF, but I knew it wasn’t off the table forever so I had to put that on hold.  What I did have to figure out was what we were going to do with the money that we had set aside, before we lost it all.  I figured since I was feeling so up and down with my health and emotions, why not do something that will make me feel better and be beneficial for me at the same time!  So I found a Groupon for a health club with a Chiropractor who also did alternative medicine, where you can lose abdominal fat by being connected to an Ion Magnum machine.  Along with that, I decided to do the HCG diet with HCG drops and within a few weeks I dropped about 13 lbs and was feeling great!  I then started to learn so much more about eating healthier and how natural supplements can help heal and support your body.  I started to eat more veggies and make healthier choices but I was barely even scraping the top of the barrel with changing my lifestyle.

I finished my HCG diet and life was okay for a while.  I finally went and made that appointment with the ear doctor and guess what?  There was nothing wrong with me!  Everything looked good, my ears were a little waxy so maybe if I got an ear wash, perhaps the “dizzy spells” as the doctors called it, would stop.  I got my ears washed and the “brain jolts” actually didn’t happen as often.  Maybe that’s all it was?!  But it still didn’t explain why I was feeling the way that I was feeling inside.  Maybe it really was just all me and it was all in my head.  Well, I wanted to lose more weight so I waited the 3 months as suggested before I started the diet again but internally I felt like I was going downhill again.  Naturally since I wasn’t feeling good, I thought maybe starting the HCG diet again would make me feel better.  But the second time around I only lost a few pounds.  It didn’t help that I was sick with my yearly bronchitis and had to stop the diet so I felt I was back to square one again.  I started to talk to my chiropractor about how I had been feeling in the last few months and she mentioned how I should look up adrenal fatigue because the symptoms I was describing to her sounded like what I was experiencing.  I forgot about it for a while because I really wasn’t taking my symptoms seriously.  I really thought all these things I was feeling was because of other things.

One afternoon after coming home from work, I was more exhausted than usual.  So exhausted that I didn’t want to eat anything and it was even too much for me to hold my head up while sitting on the couch.  I even began to get the chills and I was wrapped up in blankets in the middle of the summer!  The next morning I woke up exhausted as usual and on the commute to work I just didn’t feel right.  Something felt really off with me.  Once I dropped my children off at daycare, I had to pull over and throw up in the middle of the daycare’s driveway.  I made it to work but headed straight for the bathroom.  I literally sat on the bathroom floor at my job and threw up my brains!  I was shivering, I felt hot but broke out in a cold sweat, I felt like I was dying!  I walked back to my car, called my Supervisor from my cell phone and said I wasn’t coming in.  I managed to get an appointment to see a doctor and my husband even took Bart up to my job to come drive me home.  My doctor did nothing for me.  She gave me anti-nausea medication.  I explained my symptoms to her and that I also felt like the back of my ribs were bruised because it hurt whenever I took deep breaths.  She insisted on me taking the anti-nausea medication and sent me home.  I took the next day off because I wasn’t feeling well and I had a 101 fever.  So I called to schedule an appointment at a different location with a different doctor.  I must say that day was probably one of the hardest days I had ever experienced in my life.  I had a really high fever, I was freezing, I had my two toddlers with me and I had to drive to the hospital and somehow keep my kids entertained, all the while keeping in mind trying not to get them sick too. It ended up that I had walking pneumonia and I was infuriated because the other doctor didn’t do anything for me.  I felt like she ignored me and didn’t look into my symptoms properly and because of that,  at that point, I had started to lose trust in western medicine.

There I was taking antibiotics AGAIN!  They worked like a miracle though, because the pain in my ribs, when I took a deep breath, almost got better within a day.  But I was sick of getting sick.  From the very first time I got sick with bronchitis back when I was 19, I literally got it every year like clockwork.   And every year I got it, I was either taking antibiotics and/or an inhaler.  Not to mention the 3-4 colds I would get throughout the year on top of that.  I was out of work for a week and I don’t know how I even functioned taking care of my then 4 and 2 1/2 year old children.  My husband was out of town but luckily my brother had a day off one of those days and helped me take care of the kids.  I went back to work after a week but after that I felt like my body never fully recovered.  All these symptoms that I was experiencing and getting over the walking pneumonia only made me feel like I was a walking corpse.  I felt like my health was deteriorating but because I didn’t “look” sick, I felt like I had no business really complaining about how I felt, plus I didn’t think anyone would take me seriously.  I was fighting a silent battle all alone.